Tolkien Fan Fiction
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| How Do You Solve a Problem Like Feanor? |
To the tune of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" from The Sound of Music With special thanks to Dawn and Eruwestial! Without their "Feanor Facts" this Filk would not have been possible (or indeed likely). |
| He crafts fine jewels, yet breaks the rules and heavy burdens bear. He balks against authority yet faces every dare. And when a theft did leave its mark did oaths from kindred swear. I even heard he battled with a Balrog! He’s always stubborn to a fault with heartfelt passions real. Pig-headed about everything yet filled with depthless zeal. And though I hate to say it I very firmly feel Fëanor’s not an asset to the Noldor. Still, I’d like to say a word on his behalf: Feanor’s a master at his craft! How do you solve a problem like Fëanor? How do you catch his pride and nail it down? How do you find a word that means Fëanor? Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown? Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him. Many a thing he ought to understand. But how do you make him stay and listen to all you say? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? How do you solve a problem like Fëanor? How do you catch a firebrand in your hand? When I’m near him, I’m enflamed he’s delightful and untamed and I never know exactly what he’ll do. Unpredictable as weather, he’s as flighty as a feather. He’s a craftsman! He’s a kinslayer! He’s aloof! He’s impetuous at best whether working or at rest. He could drive us all to madness soon as not! He’s devoted! He is wild! He’s a puzzle! He is riled! He’s a menace! He’s a savior! He is HOT! How do you solve a problem like Fëanor? How do you catch his pride and nail it down? How do you find a word that means Fëanor? Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown? Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him. Many a thing he ought to understand. But how do you make him stay and listen to all you say? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? How do you solve a problem like Fëanor? How do you catch a firebrand in your hand? |