Tolkien Fan Fiction
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| The Proper King |
Names (from PoME): Nolofinwë: Fingolfin Maitimo: Maedhros Turkafinwe (Turko): Celegorm Please, cut me some slack, this is the first piece I've posted here... |
| I do not wish to become King, I have never wished for that, nor do I wish to be the Regent. But Regent I am, having served as such since my father’s death and my brother’s subsequent capture by Morgoth. I refuse to believe that Maitimo is also dead, for that would make me King. Ruling, though in the stead of another, is harder than I ever thought it could be, even with my own limited authority and advisors around me to aid in the decision-making. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to bear the full load of leading an entire population, especially one as volatile and prone to quarrelling as ours. To lead others is to follow one’s own example, and to somehow persuade the people to also wish to follow that example, or so they say. There is also a certain amount of arrogance one needs, along with the correct personality essential for any ruler to have. None of my brothers have that personality, aside from Maitimo and the Twins, they are all just plain arrogant, and all of us suffer from huge amounts of pride. If we didn’t, none of us would be in this mess in the first place, and we would still be living in Aman. And as for myself, I do not pretend to think that I am the right person, I may be proud, but I am not self-absorbed. Then perhaps anyone in my family has no entitlement at all to rule. The people are very important, nay the most important part of a kingdom. They need a leader that has their best interests at heart, a leader that would be able to focus on their needs and reservations. That does not describe a Fëanorian whose first priority is to fulfill an Oath and second through fourth priorities are shining jewels. No matter how much Maitimo or I would try to be there for the people, we would have no choice but to follow our Oath, much to the detriment of the people. We would have too much power in our hands. Who is to say that we would not order all of the armies of the Noldor to unite and march in search of a Silmaril? It would be all too simple to be drawn into a trap by Morgoth, and our entire population would be crushed in a single blow. I cannot express how terrible that would be. I would never be able to bear the guilt from that, and could never live with myself if I were the helmsman who steered our people to Mandos, in particular after all of the work they have done, all of the blood, sweat and tears they have poured into shaping this land into what it is now. I may not be cut out for Kingship or the Regency, but I cannot yet leave my current position. If I were to abdicate, the crown and the Regency would only pass to Turkafinwë. He would very quickly seize the crown from Maitimo, and I could do nothing to stop him, having stepped down from command. Turko knows how much I hate being in the public eye with my decisions open to criticism and debate. At this moment he is poised like a cat on the hunt, ready to spring when I abdicate or upon the unfortunate event of my demise. He may be my brother, but I would not trust to him the leadership of a people. What I am saying is that the Noldor need a King without the constraints of that Oath. It is not my decision at the moment, but if the crown were to be given to our Uncle Nolofinwë, and he were to accept it… what a relief that would be. Personally, I would see no problem with this, as he is frankly a much more capable ruler. It is not that he is much older or wiser, for indeed, he was barely beginning schooling when I was born. That is what I would do if I were King: give the crown to my uncle. But, seeing as I do not wish to rob my brother of his own decision, I will not take that liberty. The crown is mine to take, if I want it, with Maitimo gone. But I do not. My only choice is to continue on as I am, making decisions for a kingdom I have no wish to rule, and I will do so for as long as I must. And I hope to Eru that the people must not wait long for their King, whoever he may be. |