Tolkien Fan Fiction
| 54 |
| By Ship or Grave |
| By Ship or Grave By ship or grave, soon I must leave the life that I’ve known. For that I should grieve. But now the time comes I find I grieve not. I’ve found that to die’s not as hard as is thought. Nay, it’s to live that is hard, now I find, so little peace do I know in my mind. By ship or grave, soon I must go from the home of my heart. Oh, Sam, let me go! Hold me not to this life; set me free of the Shire, for I’ve giv’n all I have, and all spent is the fire of love for our people, of love for the land; only ashes are left, one lone ember in hand. By ship or grave I must soon get me hence. O Merry mine, I know you must sense that my time, it has come. It’s time to be free of mem’ries and pain and the hollow I see in the depths of my heart. It scoured me out! I need to be free of self-hatred and doubt. By ship or grave. Pip, surely you see my heart, it is empty, and it yearns to lead me to seek delight elsewhere if such can be found. I’ll be soon o’er sea--or ’haps laid in the ground. Oh, Pip, comfort Merry; hold fast to my Sam. It’s here you belong to fulfill this sweet land. By ship or grave--the time, it comes fast! Each time I draw breath one more hour gallops past. Sweet Rose, hold him close; let him not follow me for it’s here in the Shire his fulfillment shall be. May your smile give him comfort, your arms keep him warm, and the love of your children keep his spirit from harm. By ship or grave. What a choice given me! Yet though I am loved here, no comfort I see. My heart’s ever restless, for I find I yet seek the deceit of the En’my; I’d yet hear It speak in the depths of my mind--how I hate It, and yet, how bereft It has left me. I cannot forget. I fear it’s by grave that I’ll leave Middle Earth, for barely they reach me with joy or with mirth. I see thy sweet smile through a grey veil of grief. Oh, Elanorellë, my time with thee’s brief! Of all my Sam’s children it’s but thee I’ll know. Greet them for me, Ellë, after I go. I now choose by ship, if it possible be. I’ve suffered the East; the West now I’ll see. Gandalf, hold my hand and please show me the way, and bear with my fear of the end of the Day. A new Day I’ll know if I’m granted the grace. May the breath of the Valar dry the tears from my face. So I chose the ship, and it bore me away through the darkness of Night to the Light of the Day. The Elves bore me up and the Maiar eased my pain, and by grace my dear Bilbo did by me remain Till I once again could stand straight on my own; and then he went on, beyond West he has flown. I give thanks for the ship; I give thanks for the Love that freed me from emptiness, that raised me above the pain of the mem’ries, the ache of the grief; that brought me to healing, and ease and relief. I thank thee, sweet Eru; I praise you the more though now my heart thrills to the thought of the Shore-- --the Shore beyond ships or the reach of the Sea, the Shore that is promised to mortals like me. I’m glad I’m no Elf, e’er doomed to remain within bounds of Arda in Time’s great domain. With Sam by my side I know one day I’ll see the realm of Beyond, sweet Eternity. Beyond ship or grave, my true home I’ll know. And there will be more there to see and to show to those who come after. I’ll greet each in joy! And new Purpose I’ll find for my spirit’s employ. The blessings work backward the grief to fulfill. I rejoice that You blessed me, and I’ve dwelt in Your Will. By ship, not by grave, the Hero went hence, who offered his life in our sweet world’s defense. He’d not thought to live once It was destroyed; yet he was returned, and his presence enjoyed as long as he stayed. Then he went away. His example we bless. For his easing we pray. |