Tolkien Fan Fiction
| 2 |
| Least Favourite Things |
| (Gandalf) Being imprisoned on top of high towers, Councils of Elrond that go on for hours, Cheeky young hobbits, and Balrogs with wings; These are among my Least Favourite Things. (Faramir) Squadrons of Dwimmerlaik all out to kill me; Lunatic fathers who want to char-grill me; Nightmares of Numenor's dark founderings, These are among my Least Favourite Things. (All) When we're bested, when we're thwarted, When we feel accurs'd, We simply recall our Least Favourite Things And know it could be Much worse! (Legolas) Being the victim of fanfiction songfests, Losing to Gimli in orc-slaying contests; Wild gulls that cry with the wind 'neath their wings, These are among my Least Favourite Things: (Gimli) Horse-boys who badmouth Lothlórien's Lady, Forests that walk (which I find downright shady); Elves who can't miss with their blasted bowstrings, These are among my Least Favourite Things. (All) When we're bested, when we're thwarted, When we feel accurs'd, We simply recall our Least Favourite Things And know it could be Much worse! (Denethor) Doom glimpsed in Seeing-stones' flick'ring white fires, Meddling old wizards who pull down my pyres; Dúnadan upstarts who claim to be kings, These are among my Least Favourite Things. (Aragorn) Fat redfaced innkeeps who call me 'That Strider', Being pursued by a vengeful Black Rider, Wars to the death with the Lord of the Rings; These are among my Least Favourite Things! (All) When we're bested, when we're thwarted, When we feel accurs'd, We simply recall our Least Favourite Things And know it could be Much worse! |