Reviewer:Agape4Gondor Date:09/06/06
Hello,
I'm site manager over at HASA and someone had asked about where this tale was kept. I asked around on the HA Yahoo Group site and someone named Alawa suggested yours might be the story. I passed that information along to our member.
BUT - I decided to see for myself for it was noted by the seeker as being 'well-executed.'
Indeed - I loved the first chapter. I don't have time now to read further, but I'm printing it out so I can read at my leisure (LOL - is there such a thing!)
Intriguing beginning - I can't wait to finish this. *crosses fingers in hopes that you finished writing it*
Agape4Gondor
Site Manager HASA
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[2] Broken Arrow by:Alon
Reviewer:agape4gondor Date:09/06/06
Hi, I'm back. Well finished the tale and my glass of Savy and am I glad I found both!
I thoroughly enjoyed the telling of this - nice different perspective. I don't usually read Mary Sue's unless they are well-written. This was.
A few notes -
1) When she saw the bracers! Neat - immediately we know that she is a woman of courage.
2) I loved the line 'the errand on which he had come pressed most urgently' and the fact that he stopped and tried to listen to her needs.
3) 'straightened her back' - nice touch.
4) I loved 'voice soft as thistledown!'
5) loved the line about Gimli's long-suffering need to correct others' mistakes.
6) Oh! and you really won me over (as a long-time Boromir fan) with the line 'none mean more to me than companion of Boromir - too sad, too beautiful.
7) LOL - Gimli's thoughts of women of the dwarves was cute.
8) I needed a cool cloth pressed to my face when I read 'Boromir lounged in the doorframe' *shivers* Ah! so graphic! I could just see him!
9) Enjoyed the line 'Ioreth, the army rides out tomorrow, not a year hence' - appropriate!
10) One little problem I had was with Ioreth's character - one spot in ROTK has Gandalf saying: 'Thus spake Ioreth, wise-woman of Gondor' - Gandalf himself was most wise - I don't think, just because of the athelas thing - that he would have called her wise woman of Gondor for only that - so I had a little difficulty with your portrayal of her as a gossiper - true, her tongue wagged - but not maliciously, IMHO, nor in gossip. Only about her sisters! LOL and the King whom she seems to have fallen for!
11) Aragorn's horse - you have him riding Hasufel when Halbarad brought him Roheryn from the North (ROTK) which Aragorn rode into the Paths of the Dead.
12) I also had a problem with Aragorn suggesting that Legolas end his and Alathiel's life if the battle goes awry. This is the same thought of Denethor and I can't believe Aragorn would suggest it. That the Elf wouldn't think of it himself, however, would not surprise me.
13) I loved the scene as she tended those needing care on the way to Mordor. Nice touch. But I was surprised by her blistering remarks, as was Legolas.
14) I loved Aragorn sending the Elf off for healing - good excuse, Aragorn, for a little matchmaking!!!
15) I loved Pip stumbling upon the couple with the burnt toes need! ROTFL
16) I loved how you finished it - the summarizing was great in both parts - after the battle and their life together - the children, etc. GREAT!
Well - again - I really, really liked this tale. I found myself out of breath by the end of it - stirring, compelling, and good!
Thanks for sharing it.
Agape
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