Originally written for the LiveJournal tolkien_weekly "Mealtimes: Elevenses" challenge. And no, the interpretation of the prompt is no less twisted than "Breakfast" was...
"Wizard, yes - we doesn't like his staff, it burns usss, precious! Hulking great Men, two, three; hairy Dwarf, ugh! four; nasssty Elf, fiveses; stupid fat Hobbitses, pah! six, sevens, eights, nineses. Pony made ten, but they lost him, yesss. And we, preciousss...” - a hastily-stifled snigger in the darkness - “makes elevenses!”